Sex & Drugs & Golf

Not much beats live golf on TV at 2 AM. Such was the case on the East Coast of the US during last week's playing of the Solheim Cup broadcast from Sweden.

Creamer, Gulbis, Pressel, Lincicome, all somewhat shtuppable one way or another...but what's with the ribbons and face-painting ladies? It's not Best-In-Show.

Perhaps a page out of the Swedish book of natural beauty is advisable, i.e. Pettersen & Wessberg.

Do men who paint their faces for sporting events (as participants or spectators) dig women who do the same and visa versa? Speaking exclusively for myself, I do not see the attraction. As a matter of fact, on me it has the opposite effect.

Nevertheless, the winner really seems to be women's golf. Babies, you've come along way from the boob with the British accent commenting how boobs got in the way of a woman's golf swing. For completeness sake I have to mention the pleasure I received from it being called the Solheim Cup rather than the Ping Cup. So my hat is off to you Mr. Solheim. A minor issue on the surface, but certainly magnified by the final leg of Fedex Cup being played on the men's side. What an ugly trophy that is.

Speaking of ugly, what's up with Gary Player's comments about steroids use on the PGA Tour? He claims that he knows for a fact that "some golfers are doing it". Who Gary? Tell us. Or are you saving it for a book?

In an uncertain environment, narrowing down the possibilities always seems to help. Two players who are definitely "not doing it" are John Daly and Corey Pavin (although his recent re-emergence is surprising now that I think of it). To round it out, two players who "might be doing it" could be Rory Sabbatini and Tiger Woods.

I have always misunderstood drug testing in sports, it is afterall about performance.

Why not drug test more "important" professions, like Lawyers, Investment Bankers and Financial Advisers (boy do I have some stories to tell and I just might later on), Doctors, Politicians, Police Officers, etc.

In the brilliant words of Eddie Izzard, who doesn't understand why athletes are tested for Marijuana, "if you can win the 100 yard dash on performance debilitating drugs, power to you".

And finally, because I love Golf, there should be a law preventing fat slobs who cannot break 90 from acting as professional golf writers. They are incompetent. As good as it is to have live golf on TV at 2 AM, it's much worse to read the fortune cookie golf philosophy of such writers the next morning. I wonder what dirt Cannizaro has on Murdoch....

Copyright 2007 Man With A Big Van
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